Coaching is a space where transformation can happen – which is both a coming home to self and an invention of self. Coaching, to me, is about tracing the anatomy of loosing and finding oneself. I call it ‚selfing‘, because it is a becoming. The Self is a practice, not a ready made entity. In coaching, we are concerned with this practice.
When it comes to the Self, two questions are guiding. Who am I? And: Who do I want to be?
Those are not philosophical questions (they could be, but I don’t ask them as such). We ask them in a body kind of way, which is to say: all listening goes inwards. And if we follow the questions all the way, they lead us into the core of ourselves. That core, sweet paradox, is both an essence and an invention.
The first question is concerned with the essence – with coming home to the Self, to something we have likely lost on the way. The second question is concerned with inventing it. We ask both questions to become current with ourselves, again and again. And in doing so, we get to become the souvereign of our own inner territory.
That is what self intimacy is about. And that is what we do in Embodied Coaching.
What happens in the space of coaching is not so much that someone witnesses you and guides you – although that’s an important part of it. The most important part is that you are guided to become exactly this same witness for yourself. That is the transformation, and that is while it is lasting.
In the beginning of our work together we talk about your desires, and set specific goals. It could be: to become your own lover, to find your pleasure, live life from a place of exuberance and excitement. To love your body, release sexual shame, or to not drift off into the mind during sex. Clients work with me to find their sexual wildness, discover a new sense of themselves in midlife, or to start living a turned on life. Sometimes there’s an explicit sexual theme. Often there isn’t. The connection to sexual energy is simply the connetion to life force.
Our main goal is this: Becoming current with yourself, so that all of you is present, in the present. We become nuanced in our perception. We trace, we disentangle, we widen our inner horizon. How does this show up for you, right in this moment? We integrate the pieces of the bodymind that might be arrested in the past, making access to presence not so readily available. And while tools and theories provide a map, they are always secondary to the map that unfolds in each unique process.
There’s a frame to my work, concepts and theories that build the foundation. I work trauma informed, and I do bring in somatic tools, neuroscience, breathwork and tantric and taoist practices.
And there’s specific lens I bring that comes from working as a creative. As a writer I believe in the capacity of words. Sensing, and being able to name what you sense, is the foundation of the intimacy with self. The process of Embodied Coaching is to discover your beautiful, wild, creative mind, and connect it to your body. You will discover a new inner territory, and the self, in its boundaries and confines, will have a new tangibility. You will become real to yourself in a new way, that is more joyous, more alive, more lighthearted. That is my promise.